Thursday, January 2, 2003

7 months of drug addled-ness

After the split, I did not really take things to well at all.  I drank, not much surprisingly.  My choice was mainly hallucinogens, uppers, and the like.  I am fairly sure I did not touch smack at all during this period.  Probably because we did not know anyone to get it from.  The length of this post reflects the quality of my memories for this time. 

I will post up recollctions as they come, I have flashes from this period occasionally.

I stopped in August when I got back with my family, that darn void again, maybe that is what I need now - something to fill it with (moment of clarity???)

Wednesday, January 1, 2003

The worst kind of decision

You see my forgiveness was surplus to requirements...  She had followed her heart, which may well have been true.  Where did that leave me?

Choices; move out, or stay around and sit by whilst she dated this low life ex-con mongrel fucker.  What choices are they?  I could not move immediately had I wanted to, by the same token I needed to be around to prevent this fool from having anything to do with the kids.

So I stay, after what seemed like weeks of being able to hear them 'do it' through the paper thin walls, I had gone mad, the choice had become leave or be charged with Murder.  So I left, a weak shell of a man unable to fend off predators, no wonder my fate was sealed in such fashion.

I want to make it perfectly clear I assign no blame to the Woman concerned regarding my habbit, it was my choice to fill a void not hers, she may have provided the void - I filled it.